It was a snowy November day 11+ years ago when my family and I made that fateful move. [I am reposting this, since I had only a handful of subsribers when I published this on Feb. 19.]
I’ve never had the pleasure of visiting Montreal, but I did spend a quick moment in Toronto. It reminded me of our US cities, which I find difficult to enjoy because they are so deeply grounded in the industrial pursuit of ever-increasing wealth.
Thanks for sharing Perry. Must be really hard to leave a place after 50 years or so. I’m just two hours the other side of Toronto and it’s not a place that I vibe with either. I understand what you’re saying. I love that song you shared. I look forward to reading more. 🙏❤️
Thank you, Jamie for your kind and supportive words. If I did not live here and experience what I did so soon after the move, and still do in myriad other ways, I might not believe what my heart says. But I do, because I know it to be true. Part 2 seems unreal, but it is also true. Take care, my friend. 🕊🦜
Thank you, Perry. I’m so sorry for you that Toronto was not a new welcoming home for you. When I moved from Paris suburb to Perpignan, a small french city close to Spain border and Mediterranean Sea, I was happy to leave the trepidations of Paris and the endless trips in commuter trains. I was in love and had a beautiful house with a lovely garden waiting for me. Everything was perfect except I had no friends of my own and a whole new life of habits to build. It took me almost two years to adjust and, to be honest, especially after my daughter’s birth 11 years ago, I am still adjusting. And, maybe, this is what life is about: adjustments. Our life evolves and we adjust, we evolve and our life adjusts. The important thing is that new adjustments should provide us with ease and joy, not struggle and sorrow, that’s our compass, always. Lots of love.
Mais oui, Geraldine, moves are about adjustments and one can expect some small changes and inconveniences. C’est vraii But what I faced was much more than that, as I recount in the second part of my story, which is posted later today. Merci mille fois for your empathy.
Perry, I have read some moving stories today and I've written a few of them myself in the past. The homes we move to are part of us, our journey. Many make us long for what we had or force us to persevere through hard seasons. Looking forward to Pt. 2! yikes!
Thank you, Deborah. You are absolutely right that we want to return to what we had, especially if what we moved to is so weird and unsettling, that you want to leave—adjustment is not possible. This is my story in Toronto. It is a strange story, Part 2. Stay tuned. It will post in a couple of hours.
I honestly had the same feeling when I drove down Yonge Street. Walk down and actually. I was filming the Bogus in Toronto, and receive much the same strange feeling. In every city there is a wonderful energy which greets me. They are all different because every city is different, but when in Toronto I just didn’t feel the energy. I felt nothing. Now years later after reading your article I understand the WHY. Montreal of course being the eastern cultural center and Vancouver the West Coast cultural center. I do love Ottawa! Thank you Perry!
I always loved Ottawa, but I have not visited in a while. Thank you, Charlotte, for sharing what you felt walking down Toronto's major street. No energy. But a strange vibe.
I have driven and walked in dozens of major cities in Canada and the U.S. and have always felt some positive energy.
I always looked forward to going to different cities because of it wonderful feeling you get when you’re there. It’s not the same everywhere but it’s always a great feeling. But just silence in Toronto.
I agree and this is why I am so disappointed in Toronto. I used to love to travel and visit cities, mostly in America, and I always found it and the people friendly and fascinating. For example, some people think NYC is not friendly. I found it quite friendly and the people have a great sense of humour. I used to talk to people on the streets without a problem, including cops. Not so here. So I have given up trying.
I enjoyed reading your repost essay Perry. I too dislike Toronto and saw much of the ugliness you describe and the side effects and spillover to the "Great Toronto Area."
I lived in Toronto from 5-6 years old but don't really remember much of it. My parents chose to move away to Peterborough Ontario about 90 minutes Northeast of Toronto. I grew up there through elementary school and high school and a few years on and off after graduation. Sadly, Peterborough has been mostly hollowed out like much of the GTA filled with half empty industry and not much spirit left
I did spend a summer in 1997 in Monteal studying French at the University of Montreal. I absolutely loved it staying on campus and wandering around Cote des Neiges, Mont Royal and the nearby neighbourhoods.
Funny enough, I am now living in a compromise of sorts in Ottawa. There is still some architectural beauty here as well as quick access to parks and greenspace.
I do love to visit Montreal though - just let me know when the construction season is over. ;)
I always liked Ottawa when I visited it, but I have not done so while living here. It is not as nearby as it is when living in Montreal, only two hours away. Go visit the city again, Neil, you do not need a car to get around. Public transport is excellent and Mont-Royal awaits. I especially miss the mountain.
Yeah. As a long-time Montrealer, I had my own experience of moving to TO in the back half of '14 (for a permanent move that ended up being a 6-month stint). Your experience is relatable: I had the same reaction to Toronto's general ugliness – aesthetics seem to be a secondary-to-non-existent consideration – and its rat-race culture, which basically nixes the possibility of happy hour ever going a minute over time. I didn't fault the people for it, mind you – moving to TO from Montreal in '14 came with the added challenge of adjusting to what was already an unbearable cost of living, so I quickly got to understand the dynamics at play: If Torontonians have no time for each other, it's simply because they can't afford not to be squeezing every penny out of every last minute just to get by.
On another note, and this probably won't come as much consolation, but it's safe to say the Montreal you pine for is long gone, and that's the view from here. For my money, it died of the culture of safetyism and conformity that arose from the Covid "response." This is not the Montreal of '19, let alone the Montreal of '12. I, too, long for that place, which is just one of the "things we lost in the fire," as it were.
Thanks for your comment, Ananda. I know all about the changes Montreal has undergone, but it matters not to me, because it is still better than Toronto (you returned for a reason). Toronto will never be home. I am posting the second part of the story tomorrow.
Thank you for the repost, Perry, as it gives me a deeper understanding of your move from Montreal to Toronto. I’m looking forward to reading part 2. The changes in Toronto sound similar to what I’ve experienced on the US West Coast and, truly, I can’t deal with living in big urban metros anymore. There is a sad hollowing out in some of the cities and I can only hope they become revitalized. As I’ve gotten to know you a little here, I am grateful that you find solace in Nature.
Thanks for reposting this, Perry. It is good to read about the move, knowing how hard you find it there and how much of your heart is in Montreal. I hope the writing and sharing is cathartic in some small way.
In this case, the stereotypes are all true, and then some, Diana. I used to visit often, but moving here brought a sense of reality that was and continues to be unpleasant. Tomorrow, I plan to post the second part, which fleshes out this nasty reality.
To uproot and traverse to plant a new tree in a new place shocks the system until the roots find soil that supports the growth of the family to bear fruit.
Interesting re-post, Perry. As a fellow Canadian, I was very interested to read your article, especially having lived in Montreal for seven years and having been to Toronto as well many times, although I spent the vast majority of my time in Canada in Ottawa where I was born. And being a bit of a traveler, I've seen quite a few cities, and I've also lived in Melbourne, Australia for two years and São Paulo, Brazil for over a year.
To me, Montreal seemed to have much more culture and of course as a student, the cheap rent was nice there. But to be honest, I prefer Toronto over Montreal, and I think a lot of that is just due to the experiences I've had in each city. I never really got used to the different Quebec-way of doing things, such as different tax system, different immigration system, talk of separatism, driver's license in French which is harder to use internationally, strange health care system, and endless debates about how French and English should be displayed together.
I will say though that I dislike large cities in general and the dislike only grows stronger as I get older. I don't think I'd ever live in either now, not that I could really afford to! From now on it will be small cities for me after my wife and I leave São Paulo.
Thanks for your response, Jason. If I understand correctly, you have never taken up residence in Toronto? Visiting rarely gives the full story. Regardless, I plan to repost the second part of this essay tomorrow, which will.explain in greater detail why I regret moving here. I, too, tire of large cities. And Toronto is a large city.
I’ve never had the pleasure of visiting Montreal, but I did spend a quick moment in Toronto. It reminded me of our US cities, which I find difficult to enjoy because they are so deeply grounded in the industrial pursuit of ever-increasing wealth.
Thanks for sharing Perry. Must be really hard to leave a place after 50 years or so. I’m just two hours the other side of Toronto and it’s not a place that I vibe with either. I understand what you’re saying. I love that song you shared. I look forward to reading more. 🙏❤️
Thank you, Jamie for your kind and supportive words. If I did not live here and experience what I did so soon after the move, and still do in myriad other ways, I might not believe what my heart says. But I do, because I know it to be true. Part 2 seems unreal, but it is also true. Take care, my friend. 🕊🦜
Thank you, Perry. I’m so sorry for you that Toronto was not a new welcoming home for you. When I moved from Paris suburb to Perpignan, a small french city close to Spain border and Mediterranean Sea, I was happy to leave the trepidations of Paris and the endless trips in commuter trains. I was in love and had a beautiful house with a lovely garden waiting for me. Everything was perfect except I had no friends of my own and a whole new life of habits to build. It took me almost two years to adjust and, to be honest, especially after my daughter’s birth 11 years ago, I am still adjusting. And, maybe, this is what life is about: adjustments. Our life evolves and we adjust, we evolve and our life adjusts. The important thing is that new adjustments should provide us with ease and joy, not struggle and sorrow, that’s our compass, always. Lots of love.
Mais oui, Geraldine, moves are about adjustments and one can expect some small changes and inconveniences. C’est vraii But what I faced was much more than that, as I recount in the second part of my story, which is posted later today. Merci mille fois for your empathy.
Perry, I have read some moving stories today and I've written a few of them myself in the past. The homes we move to are part of us, our journey. Many make us long for what we had or force us to persevere through hard seasons. Looking forward to Pt. 2! yikes!
Thank you, Deborah. You are absolutely right that we want to return to what we had, especially if what we moved to is so weird and unsettling, that you want to leave—adjustment is not possible. This is my story in Toronto. It is a strange story, Part 2. Stay tuned. It will post in a couple of hours.
I honestly had the same feeling when I drove down Yonge Street. Walk down and actually. I was filming the Bogus in Toronto, and receive much the same strange feeling. In every city there is a wonderful energy which greets me. They are all different because every city is different, but when in Toronto I just didn’t feel the energy. I felt nothing. Now years later after reading your article I understand the WHY. Montreal of course being the eastern cultural center and Vancouver the West Coast cultural center. I do love Ottawa! Thank you Perry!
I always loved Ottawa, but I have not visited in a while. Thank you, Charlotte, for sharing what you felt walking down Toronto's major street. No energy. But a strange vibe.
I have driven and walked in dozens of major cities in Canada and the U.S. and have always felt some positive energy.
I always looked forward to going to different cities because of it wonderful feeling you get when you’re there. It’s not the same everywhere but it’s always a great feeling. But just silence in Toronto.
I agree and this is why I am so disappointed in Toronto. I used to love to travel and visit cities, mostly in America, and I always found it and the people friendly and fascinating. For example, some people think NYC is not friendly. I found it quite friendly and the people have a great sense of humour. I used to talk to people on the streets without a problem, including cops. Not so here. So I have given up trying.
I enjoyed reading your repost essay Perry. I too dislike Toronto and saw much of the ugliness you describe and the side effects and spillover to the "Great Toronto Area."
I lived in Toronto from 5-6 years old but don't really remember much of it. My parents chose to move away to Peterborough Ontario about 90 minutes Northeast of Toronto. I grew up there through elementary school and high school and a few years on and off after graduation. Sadly, Peterborough has been mostly hollowed out like much of the GTA filled with half empty industry and not much spirit left
I did spend a summer in 1997 in Monteal studying French at the University of Montreal. I absolutely loved it staying on campus and wandering around Cote des Neiges, Mont Royal and the nearby neighbourhoods.
Funny enough, I am now living in a compromise of sorts in Ottawa. There is still some architectural beauty here as well as quick access to parks and greenspace.
I do love to visit Montreal though - just let me know when the construction season is over. ;)
I always liked Ottawa when I visited it, but I have not done so while living here. It is not as nearby as it is when living in Montreal, only two hours away. Go visit the city again, Neil, you do not need a car to get around. Public transport is excellent and Mont-Royal awaits. I especially miss the mountain.
Yeah. As a long-time Montrealer, I had my own experience of moving to TO in the back half of '14 (for a permanent move that ended up being a 6-month stint). Your experience is relatable: I had the same reaction to Toronto's general ugliness – aesthetics seem to be a secondary-to-non-existent consideration – and its rat-race culture, which basically nixes the possibility of happy hour ever going a minute over time. I didn't fault the people for it, mind you – moving to TO from Montreal in '14 came with the added challenge of adjusting to what was already an unbearable cost of living, so I quickly got to understand the dynamics at play: If Torontonians have no time for each other, it's simply because they can't afford not to be squeezing every penny out of every last minute just to get by.
On another note, and this probably won't come as much consolation, but it's safe to say the Montreal you pine for is long gone, and that's the view from here. For my money, it died of the culture of safetyism and conformity that arose from the Covid "response." This is not the Montreal of '19, let alone the Montreal of '12. I, too, long for that place, which is just one of the "things we lost in the fire," as it were.
Thanks for your comment, Ananda. I know all about the changes Montreal has undergone, but it matters not to me, because it is still better than Toronto (you returned for a reason). Toronto will never be home. I am posting the second part of the story tomorrow.
I’ll look forward to reading it. Best!
Thank you for the repost, Perry, as it gives me a deeper understanding of your move from Montreal to Toronto. I’m looking forward to reading part 2. The changes in Toronto sound similar to what I’ve experienced on the US West Coast and, truly, I can’t deal with living in big urban metros anymore. There is a sad hollowing out in some of the cities and I can only hope they become revitalized. As I’ve gotten to know you a little here, I am grateful that you find solace in Nature.
Yes, hollowing out is a major factor, Heidi. I am also not keen in living in an urban area. It is so tiring.
Thanks for reposting this, Perry. It is good to read about the move, knowing how hard you find it there and how much of your heart is in Montreal. I hope the writing and sharing is cathartic in some small way.
Thank you, Trudi.
Never been to Canada, and am a country bumpkin rather than a city guy to boot, so on more than one level an interesting insight into another world.
Understandable, Josh..I have lived mostly in cities, but the last decade in Toronto has soured me on urban living, if you can call it that.
Yikes! I've never spent time in Toronto, and you're reinforcing the stereotypes that keep me uninterested in spending time there.
In this case, the stereotypes are all true, and then some, Diana. I used to visit often, but moving here brought a sense of reality that was and continues to be unpleasant. Tomorrow, I plan to post the second part, which fleshes out this nasty reality.
To uproot and traverse to plant a new tree in a new place shocks the system until the roots find soil that supports the growth of the family to bear fruit.
Beautiful metaphor. This old plant has not found good nutritous soil here, thus no fruit.
Try peroxide on the ground to increase oxygen intake . Compost does wonders as mulch to bring healthy plants to grow.
Interesting re-post, Perry. As a fellow Canadian, I was very interested to read your article, especially having lived in Montreal for seven years and having been to Toronto as well many times, although I spent the vast majority of my time in Canada in Ottawa where I was born. And being a bit of a traveler, I've seen quite a few cities, and I've also lived in Melbourne, Australia for two years and São Paulo, Brazil for over a year.
To me, Montreal seemed to have much more culture and of course as a student, the cheap rent was nice there. But to be honest, I prefer Toronto over Montreal, and I think a lot of that is just due to the experiences I've had in each city. I never really got used to the different Quebec-way of doing things, such as different tax system, different immigration system, talk of separatism, driver's license in French which is harder to use internationally, strange health care system, and endless debates about how French and English should be displayed together.
I will say though that I dislike large cities in general and the dislike only grows stronger as I get older. I don't think I'd ever live in either now, not that I could really afford to! From now on it will be small cities for me after my wife and I leave São Paulo.
Thanks for your response, Jason. If I understand correctly, you have never taken up residence in Toronto? Visiting rarely gives the full story. Regardless, I plan to repost the second part of this essay tomorrow, which will.explain in greater detail why I regret moving here. I, too, tire of large cities. And Toronto is a large city.