My 11-Year Cancerversary

Today, it is 11 years since my CT scan showed no evidence of disease (NED). It is also 6 years after the five-year scan, my last one I have had. It is a long journey to cancer recovery and healing.

Me in June 2013 at Edwards Gardens, sitting on a rock ledge. The photo was taken by my wife, Sarah. Edwards Gardens proved to be a sanctuary, a place of flowers, trees and Canada Geese, who stayed near by the pond. It was a place of beauty and joy in a city where so little of this could be found.

Today is a day of celebration. But I have to at first take you back 11 years to understand what and why I am celebrating. Above is a photo of me taken in June 2013, at Edwards Gardens, toward the end of chemotherapy. The gardens, which includes a large pond where Canada Geese reside, was a place I frequented often during my cancer journey; I found it peaceful and beautiful, the opposite of the turmoil that cancer causes. Below is one of me in April 2013, in the midst of chemo. I want to talk more about this photo; and the reason will become clear soon enough. I might look better than I feel, so appearances are indeed a poor indicator of how a person feels inside, especially in the midst of fighting or battling a disease that often leads to death. I call this photo “Cancer Warrior,” and while it might seem like an arrogant and cocky pose, this is how I wanted to present myself then— fighting a lonely battle against a disease that has every intention of killing its host. Me.

I had no intention, however, of giving in, of allowing the disease to have its way. It is a lonely battle, this fight against cancer. It was made more difficult because I was in a new city with no friends. My wife, Sarah, did what she could, but she was also likely overwhelmed with all the changes we had undergone in such a short period of time. And it was chiefly left to Sarah to take care of our two school-aged boys, 5 and 11. I did do some cooking, however, always saying, “Let the cancer patient do it.”

Yet, I did so feeling tired. Always tired.

I would have felt better, I am now convinced, if I had had my faithful companion, Arya the Cockatiel, by my side to cheer me up. But Arya was not yet born, let alone my avian companion. So, it was pretty much me vs cancer. Alone. In an aesthetically unappealing, unfriendly and joyless city. (It took me some time to figure out why.)

So, it is with no extra amount of malice, but with much sincerity, that I say, FCUK Cancer. For those interested, my Cancer Story (Sick in Toronto) was posted on Substack a while ago. In many ways, it is unremarkable. Yet, in one or two ways, I think, it stands out. Read it if you can, if you have the time, and let me know what you think. Even so, if my story helps anyone in some small way, then it has done some good. It is often the little things that count in life.

Me in April 2013, in the midst of chemotherapy. in the hallway of the apartment building in which we lived. Photo by SL Levy, 2013.

I would like to add one additional point about how some people cope with cancer, and there are various ways, some familiar, some foreign. When I read about others who have been diagnosed with cancer and have undergone medical treatment (i.e., surgery, chemo, radiation, etc.), I do not and can not join the chorus who sing that “cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Really? No, not in my case, it has been the worst event in my life; I am 66. I was 55 when given the news that I had cancer. Of course, cancer changed me; it changes everyone. I will never forget that day, that early Tuesday evening (around 6:30 pm) of December 18, 2012, lying on a hospital bed in the hallway of Branson Urgent Care in Toronto, when I got the news. It was dark outside. Winter Dark. But this was the furthest thing on my mind. Survival was.

So, yes, I mark today with the joy that I am alive and cancer is not. I do not regret saying this; cancer is a cruel killer and shows no mercy.¹ Even if it does not kill you, cancer often debilitates you and robs you of the joy of life. Many of us are still feeling the affects of cancer and of its chemo-based medical treatment. I have not returned to my old pre-cancer self, even though I generally eat healthy meals, am normal weight and am fairly active. This is the new me, the new normal me and I have accepted it the best that I could.

Simply put, it is brutal, it being both cancer and conventional protocols; there is no nice way to say it. Yet, there are no other medical ways that are equally effective in defeating this disease. Here is a sobering fact. Cancer is the second leading cause of death in the U.S², where heart disease is No. 1; cancer is, however, by far the leading cause of death here in Canada.³

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if one day the word cancer does not conjure up the fear it does today? I think so. And while cancer treatments are getting better, there is more that needs to be done. It is Medical Research that will make the breakthroughs, ones that will advance the treatment protocols against an equally determined adversary.⁴ This is how I view it. I think many others feel the same way.

The Bird-Friendly coffee arrived yesterday. I like the simple yet tasteful packaging. Photo by Perry J. Greenbaum

The cake was delivered on Monday, promptly put in the freezer and placed in the fridge to defrost yesterday. Photo by Perry J. Greenbaum

I will now enjoy the day with a slice (or two) of decadent chocolate vegan cake with a good cup of dark roast bird-friendly coffee. (The 2 bags of bird-friendly coffee⁵ that I ordered from a coffee roaster in Vaudreuil-Dorion, west of Montreal, was delivered yesterday.)⁶ I have had this cake before; it is wonderful and so chocolaty rich and delicious. I have not have had this coffee roast before. Perhaps, I will make it in a Moka Pot. Or my regular French Press. I am not yet sure. Perhaps, I will also post on how much I enjoyed the coffee and the cake sometime tomorrow. (None for Arya, though; he can’t have chocolate or caffeine, which is harmful to avians.)

Before I sign off, I will leave you with a song that many of us can relate to; those of us who had to survive bad luck or bad decisions or bad anything will understand the power of “I Will Survive,” by the talented Gloria Gaynor. It is the first song on Side 2 of Love Tracks, which was released on November 27, 1978. This song was on my playlist back in 2013. This song was originally a feminist anthem about surviving a breakup and partner abuse, but it has become much more since the time it was released in 1978, when disco dancing was in vogue. If you loved dancing, you loved disco and its free form. I loved it then; I love it now.

So, let’s get up everyone, and dance. And dance to the beat. Do your happy dance.

No, not I, I will survive
Long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got my life to live
And all my love to give and
I will survive
I, I, I will survive

Merci et à bientôt
Born at 315 ppm
Now at 422 ppm

1. WHO: “In 2022, there were an estimated 20 million new cancer cases and 9.7 million deaths. The estimated number of people who were alive within 5 years following a cancer diagnosis was 53.5 million. About 1 in 5 people develop cancer in their lifetime, approximately 1 in 9 men and 1 in 12 women die from the disease.”

2. National Cancer Institute: In 2024, an estimated 611,720 people will die of cancer in the United States. Lung and bronchus cancer is responsible for the most deaths with 125,070 people expected to die from this disease. That is nearly three times the 53,010 deaths due to colorectal cancer, which is the second most common cause of cancer death. Pancreatic cancer is the third deadliest cancer, causing 51,750 deaths.”

3. Canadian Cancer Society: “In 2024, 247,100 Canadians are estimated to hear the words “you have cancer,” compared to the 239,100 new cancer cases in 2023 — an increase that is likely the result of Canada’s growing and aging population. Cancer deaths are also expected to rise this year, from 86,700 in 2023 to 88,100 in 2024. The increase in cancer cases and deaths are expected due to the growing and aging population.”

4. National Cancer Institute has news updates on some current research in understanding cancer and how it turns on, which can lead, hopefully, to methods on how to turn cancer off. Targeted therapy or drugs that focus on proteins is one such promising area. Hundreds of such proteins have been identified by cancer researchers. This is part of the exciting work currently going on in Proteomics.

5. Birds Canada: “If you care about migratory birds, switching to Bird Friendly coffee is one of the best and easiest ways to contribute to their conservation in their wintering grounds. Across several regions of northern South America, over 80% of montane forests have been cleared, and shade coffee plantations represent some of the only suitable remaining winter habitat for Neotropical migrants. By choosing to drink Bird Friendly coffee, we support the market for these beans, and thus, maintenance of suitable winter habitats for migrants. For more information on this, see a recent article in Avian Conservation and Ecology.
So what exactly is Bird Friendly coffee? The Smithsonian’s National Zoo and Conservation Biology Institute’s Migratory Bird Center boldly boast the world’s first scientifically-backed shade-grown coffee certification: Smithsonian Bird Friendly®, recognized by the seal (see photo below). This gold standard in bird-friendly habitat conservation means that a plantation, besides also being USDA Organic, must meet specific criteria, such as at least 40% canopy cover, at least 12-metre tree canopy height, at least 10 different species of native trees and shrubs, and a variety of other biodiversity indicators, all detailed here. Bird Friendly producers can also earn more for their crops due to the gourmet market price premiums, and the timber and fruit trees on shade coffee farms provide farmers with additional income.”

6. The coffee I ordered is also Fair Trade, Organic and Café Femenino certified. The last certification is a new one for me and it means that the coffee farmers are women. It started in Peru in 2003.